Vintage van ad goes viral

Most people looking to get rid of an old caravan either park it on the kerbside with a ‘For sale’ sign, or hunt down a buyer on a buy/sell website like Caravancampingsales.

However, the Toowoomba, Queensland owner of a dilapidated old van rusting away in his backyard has created an hilarious sales pitch on social media to attract a buyer.

Posted on Russ Brown’s Facebook page, the 1000-plus word ‘advertisement’ describes the “time locked 1960s or ‘70s van – I don’t really know” van as “15 feet of fantastic, the aluminium can of awesomeness, the most fun you can have on two wheels”.

“Frankie the Friendly Caravan”, as he calls it, was “once destined to be stripped back to her bare bones and refurbished to the point where she was no longer recognizable (but) alas, Frankie and I must part company, as I have recently purchased a bus into which I plan to retrofit a motor home coupled to a vortex manipulator to enable time travel”.

Putting plenty of positive spin on a caravan obviously well past its use-by date, he says the “shabby-chic interior has been carefully engineered to look like rotting plywood panels, an accent that is beautifully complemented by the loose lino tiles on the floor”.

Then there's the broken fridge that adds “an extra safety factor to the purchase”.

What’s more, “all of the windows in this little honey have been sealed shut with screws to keep the gremlins out (you can't be too careful). Fortunately, this means that you won't need to bother with retrofitting those fiddly fly-screen things!”

There's also features you won’t even find on modern vans.

“For added buying satisfaction, the vents are manufactured from high quality tin that will operate as negative thermal mass in the winter (drawing unwanted warm air up and out of the vehicle), and will add to the much fabled 'sauna effect' (very popular in Sweden) during those sultry summer months.”

He also reckons there’s plenty of room on the two single beds. “As long as you are as fat as a match with the wood shaved off, and under 5ft tall, you will comfortably fit for the best night's sleep of your life!”

Even the door incorporates a push out 'screen door' section "in the name of keeping the weight down and maximising mileage".

With the price reduced from $26,990 to just $450 or nearest offer, the owner says it’s “a regretful sale”.

“I am asking only $450 (ONO) for this piece of caravanning history. Do her up or strip her down for a cheap trailer, either way, you don't want to be the one telling the grand kids in 20 years time that you 'almost' bought the van of the century...”