The features every caravan should have

When you have owned or reviewed a number of caravans, you find there are a number of things that manufacturers could do better, or could include as standard.

This list gets longer as I get older, as I expect it does for many travellers who predictably grow less tolerant as the years pass by...

Let’s start with the basics: hitching up.

Most caravanners are amateurs and only have a vague idea of their van’s optimal balance. So, how about a simple device that measures your caravan or camper’s ball weight that at least will show you whether it’s within the permissible range; that typically is 10-12 per cent of its Tare weight. This could be incorporated in the hitch itself.

What about caravan ‘parking’ sensors? Caravannenrs are usually independent people who distrust the parking advice of their spouses or well-intentioned strangers. So how about ‘proximity sensors’ on the sides and rear corners of your RV that pre-warm you of expensive damage, just like ‘parking sensors’ do on cars?

Now, getting in. As the majority of caravans sold in Australia these days are either ‘off-road’ models, or have off-road pretentions, they have grown higher off the ground. But their entry steps have often risen with them and external grab handles to make this easier are now harder to find.

I suggest that entry handles become mandatory on all new caravans ­­- not just for getting in, but for the even trickier manoeuvre for older folk of getting out.

Once you get in, the next hazard you discover (ouch!) is sharp edged benches or overhead cupboards – I’ve got the dents and scars to prove it! It doesn’t take much (it’s called a router) to round off the corners.

While you’re still in the doorway nursing your head, how about placing a switch to turn on the main ceiling lights there? It’s not hard to do and stops you stumbling over other stuff, like cupboards that have slid open on your travels.

Melbourne’s Track Trailer uses a Redvision system to centrally-lock all the drawers on its T4 range, while its all-new Pioneer Verve caravan uses a manual central lock lever to achieve the same result.

While there, how about a power cut-off switch that turns off all your power except your fridge?  Very handy when you're out walking during the day .

And maybe a ‘panic’ switch that turns on all the exterior lights at once when you’re having a ‘Wolf Creek‘ moment at night while you're remote free-camping? To make this work you will need to ensure you have four exterior lights to frighten those grazing kangaroos away! Your caravan manufacturer or dealer can surely organise this.

Do you have an east-west queen bed? Very handy to maximise interior space, but a pain to enter and exit in the ‘wee’ hours without waking your partner.

I’ve often wished for a sturdy roof-mounted grab handle to make the job easier, particularly if ‘your side’ of the bed is nearest the wall.

‘Toilet’ lights, which can be lower under-cupboard lights, are also great to guide you on your way without waking everyone. While on early-morning 'runs', I’m generally against front doors on caravans because you can fall into the cavity they require when you stumble, half asleep, out of the door-side of a north-south bed.

Another thing that annoys me is all those pesky little blue or red LED lights that can keep you awake if they're in your line of sight. Why can’t they be hidden?

Now, don’t get me going about skylights over the bed! The only people who like waking up with the sun on North Queensland tropical mornings are those who like waking up with the sun. On an episode of The Block reality TV series, I saw a  couple locate a skylight in a guest bedroom. Why? The rest of us are happy to stay in bed a few hours more! Block-out blinds rarely are.

Then there’s the noisy fridges, whose compressors cut in and out all night. Banish the fridge to the other end of the caravan if you have a say on its layout!

Now, let’s get to my long-time beef about microwaves. I understand the problem that come with their placement in a compact caravan, but high-mounted microwaves that can contain scalding substances are downright dangerous for normal-sized people and should be outlawed!

Moving to the bathroom and I wonder why some caravan makers don’t fit mirrors. Most people I know either shave or apply make-up at least once a week.

Other gripes... Overhead cupboards that conflict with their neighbours; concertina rather than sliding solid ensuite doors; USB plugs that are almost impossible to find in bedside nooks; rear windows whose seals invariably let in dust’; locks on external drop-down picnic trays (has one ever been stolen?)...

Then there are those high-mounted jerrycan holders that require exceptional strength to load/unload a full 20-litre fuel can; body hatch doors that blow closed in the wind when you want them open; a nest of keys when one properly keyed one would do...

The list goes on. Sadly, the perfect caravan has yet to be built.

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