Has caravan park security gone too far?

Ah, the bliss of caravan life.... Freedom on four wheels, the open road, and a new backyard every night.

It’s the romantic ideal that lures so many of us, my wife and I included, to hitch up our rolling homes and set off on grand adventures. But as many seasoned caravanners will attest, there’s a modern menace lurking in the otherwise serene world of modern caravan parks: the dreaded PIN code.

Long gone are the days of simply pulling up at the park gate and greeting the owner, who’d direct you to a parking spot where you’d set up camp and sip cold beverages as the setting sun dropped over the horizon. Now you often have to navigate a labyrinth of pin codes and security measures that make Fort Knox look like a garden shed!

Let’s start with the park security system, which is undoubtedly a marvel of modern engineering at some caravan parks. In theory, it’s brilliant: keep the park secure from vandals and free-loaders with a range of PIN codes for various gates and amenities.

Yes, we appreciate the need for robust security measures, and let’s face it, no one wants to wake up to find their favourite camp chair has mysteriously migrated overnight. But in practice, trying to recall a never-ending parade of PIN codes is like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube while blindfolded. Each caravan park has its own unique set of codes, and they’re not just a few numbers tossed together—oh no! We’re talking about a veritable pin code extravaganza.

First, there’s the main boom gate, the majestic entrance that requires a code so long it might as well be the launch sequence for a space shuttle. Next, the pedestrian gate —presumably for those who want to enter with a bit more dignity, but still requiring a different code.

Then there's the Wi-fi code because, naturally, everyone wants a free connection to the digital world, even in the midst of nature. Some parks even have a separate pin code for the pool gate, and have we mentioned the amenities block code yet? This last one is crucial, as it grants access to facilities that, let’s face it, become the holy grail of caravan living.

But it’s not just the mental gymnastics that pose a challenge. Imagine, if you will, the plight of more seasoned travellers — the veterans of the open road, so to speak, whose eyesight isn’t quite what it used to be and whose fingers are more familiar with the soothing grip of a walking stick than the fiddly buttons of a security keypad.

They're forced to squint in the dim light of the amenities block late at night, struggling to discern whether that last digit was a ‘5’ or an ‘8’; their arthritic fingers attempting to tap out the sequence on a keypad seemingly designed by elves. The entire operation can resemble a slapstick routine worthy of the best silent comedies — except with less laughter and more muttered curses.

So, imagine the chaos when you’re hopping from park to park, like the East Coast adventure my wife and I are currently tackling. We're faced with an ever-changing and expanding list of pin codes, each with unique requirements. Remembering the correct sequence of numbers requires the same mental agility as memorising the lyrics to a rap song.  

Just the other day I found myself at the amenities block early in the morning, my internal pressure gauge nudging the red zone while desperately trying to remember the correct PIN code. Sheer panic then set in as I punched the code from the park I stayed at three days ago. After each failed attempt, the situation becomes increasingly dire. My palms are sweating, and my face flushes like I've just sprinted the Olympic marathon.

The perspiration cascading down my brow, I start to question my life choices. “Why didn’t I write these codes down?”... “Why didn’t I use a secure app to store them?” Meanwhile, the clock is ticking (or, more accurately, my bulging bladder and rectum stop valve).

Eventually, as I'm standing there doing an impromptu interpretive dance in front of the amenities block, a better prepared fellow caravanner turns up, nonchalantly punches in the code, and let's me in with a knowing smile...

So, next time you find yourself wrestling with a set of numbers and a pressing need for relief, remember: you’re not alone. At the very least, you’ll have a story that’s sure to bring a smile — or at least a groan — to your fellow travellers.

However, there's a practical solution to this PIN code conundrum. I've found that taking a photo of the codes with my mobile phone as I enter each new caravan park is a handy way to manage and remember them. Now, I've just got to remember to take the phone when I head out for that early morning pit-stop...