Big Lap of boredom?

Travel has always been in our blood here in Australia; from the original inhabitants and their love of going walkabout to the European explorers and all those who followed. 

It’s little wonder that per capita, we own more campers, caravans and, quite likely motorhomes and tents than any other nation.

Of course the fact we’re a country surrounded by pristine oceans with the world’s greatest beaches might also have something to do with our love of camping.

We glory in our beaches but we also love our bush and treasure our arid country too. The fact is, Australia is a traveller’s paradise where you can drive for a year and still have plenty to see.

Such diverse and readily available natural landscapes on one continent has produced many an adventure bound documentary delight. Inspiration for the masses to nibble up over TV dinners and dream the dream that one day, it might all be possible for us too.

Of course TV is by nature, a rather misleading medium. A 30 second montage of the Leyland Brothers crossing the great Simpson Desert doesn’t quite convey the actuality of four-plus mind numbing dusty days locked in a struggle of man versus 4x4 track.

So we watch and find ourselves nodding along from the comfort of our Lazy Boy thinking ‘Yes, we really must do that!’

And don’t get me started on the Nullarbor Plain. 200,000 square kilometres and 1100 clicks of featureless driving. OK kids, brace yourselves, because with these kinds of kilometres, everyone’s going to suffer.

I don’t care if you have a 5kg lolly stash and a glovebox of fully charged iPads - the Nullarbor takes boredom to an entirely new level that will crack even the most committed Minecraft architect, back seat sugar moocher.

As for the poor sap who has to drive the vehicle, well, speaking for myself, there could be circus tents every 100m with the finest talent from Cirque Du Soleil and I’d still be nodding off by the Head of Blight.

I don’t blame the Nullarbor; it’s not like there isn’t warning enough in the name. Educated folks will try to tell you that ‘Nullus' and ‘Arbor’ come from the Latin meaning ‘no trees’ but to a person with a seven hour dead-straight drive ahead of them, the meaning is pretty clear.

If you’re lucky enough to have the opportunity to travel our great land, let me share a little tip given to me recently by one of our beloved trucking fraternity. ‘In Australia, there’s a heck of a lot of nothing in-between the odd oasis of something’.

One of the charms of Australia is that it’s a bloody big country with a relatively spartan population. In England, by comparison, there are very few places you can drive for more than a brief duration without passing into the next town.

Down under, it’s possible to drive the length of some countries and not see another car.

Don’t get me wrong; I love a long drive in the outback as much as the next bloke (Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy!) but as time goes on, I am beginning to understand that moderation is a key ingredient to the amount of enjoyment one can take from any particular activity.

I have many friends with RVs who have done the big lap of Australia and I certainly appreciate the appeal - but not everyone has that kind of time. 

Just lately I’ve been wondering if an approach that focuses on locations within a few hours’ drive of home might offer similar reward without the sacrifice.

If what I love is to drive a while, find a secluded beach and retire from casual human contact for a few days with the wife and kids, why drive half-way around the country to a place that might exist, when I know for certain that one of the finest beaches in all the lands awaits my arrival just one motorhome hour (regular readers will know that’s 1.46 normal hours) drive from my home.

The only kink in my newly forged idea to travel locally and ditch the hardcore road time was the niggling worry that perhaps the drive itself is necessary to enjoy the oasis when you arrive.

What I mean to say is perhaps that’s why we love to travel in the first place - we need the Ying and Yang of the thing. ‘Drive, drive, drive’ counters ‘relax, explore, enjoy’.

And then, quite suddenly, I stopped worrying. Distracted by the drive, drive, drive, I’d forgotten for a second that I still have a job, job, job… sigh!

On the bright side, redundancies are up this year. Perhaps I’ll get lucky.